Relationship Rules

  1. If the guy you've been making out with suddenly starts ignoring you, don't be friends when he suddenly starts paying attention to you again, it will not end in good.
  2. If you don't like him, but sleep with him anyways, don't give him your phone number and don't hang out with him again. You can find a new one.
  3. If you like him, don't start your relationship by telling him you don't want to be his girlfriend.
  4. If you like him and arrange to take his virginity, don't pretend that you don't care.
  5. If you cheat on him all the time, you probably aren't interested anymore.
  6. If he introduces himself by pouring you straight whiskey and dragging you into a cab, and there is broken glass and blood on the floor of his parent's basement, you shouldn't be too sad when he doesn't call you back.
  7. Just because he says he likes you does not mean you have to stay in a relationship with him when you only see each other once a month.
  8. If the guy you're sleeping with doesn't explain why he stopped talking to you, don't be friends when he suddenly starts paying attention to you again.
  9. If he is sleeping with you because his girlfriend is visiting her family in Sweden, throw away the love letters he sends you, they are meaningless.
  10. If he is kindhearted but you feel like your relationship is a slow death, break up with him before you cheat on him.
  11. If your friends keep mentioning his tendencies to punch women in the face, they are probably not lying.
  12. Don't sleep with him to get revenge.
  13. Don't pretend you're coming back for him if you never plan on seeing him ever again.
  14. Don't sleep with him because you have nowhere else to go.
  15. Don't sleep with him because you're afraid of what he will do if you don't.